I was lonely, can you blame me?
I am an only child. My father had one brother who had three kids. My cousins and I were close until I went away to school. My mother had two brothers and a sister. Only her sister, Bertha lived in New York. Bertha had one son, who was three years younger than me. My father died suddenly when I was 16. My mother, never very interested in raising a child, stopped visiting me at boarding school. During vacations, I stayed in her apartment in Brooklyn. I worked each summer to help with expenses at school. As you can see, even this bleak cloud had a very nice silvedr lining. Who could have guessed that my mother ultimately would become my best friend by pimping out her customers' daughters to me. Thanks mom.
(see transitions) gives his trademarked smile.
Irv's life was similarly solitary. We didn't have a great deal in common, so we didn't spend much time together. Also, we had different days off.
One lonely Saturday night in my apartment in the Village, the noise of the New Jersey hippies, drowning out the stereo, desperation rose in my throat like a bad burger. I kept looking at that human potential book and would imagine the amazing fun those people were having at Anthos.
Finally, on Monday night (my day off), I decided to call Anthos. Over a couple of hours I would dial the number, then hang up. I told you I wasw shy! Finally I let the phone ring and someone answered. I was invited to join one of their encounter groups. My readings about Sandstone prepared me to expect about a dozen people, naked or dressed, to be sitting in a circle on the floor sharing experiences and "growing". The person on the phone restricted her conversation to asking me if I would like to join a group scheduled for the next night at 8pm. I surprised myself by agreeing to go.
The next 24 hours were filled with feverish fantasies of orgies, ridicule, glory; you get it, conflicting, often frightening visions of my first encounter group.
Time to go to the group came all-too-quickly.I wasn't sure what I would do if they asked me to take my clothes off, but I gamely headed to a loft in Chelsea where Anthos held its groups. I had butterflies in my stomach when I arrived. All of the social fears bred into me by four years at boarding school flooded into me. To this day I don't know how I found the courage to take the elevator to the fourth floor and follow the sign to Anthos.
I had imagined that Anthos would be like Sandstone; beautiful surroundings, hot tubs filled with naked girls, people lounging in conversation pits sipping green tea and chatting softly. The building didn't look promising. It was a ten-story industrial building in the West 20's. The street was dirty and dark, the elevator creaked, and the hallway needed sweeping. The door was open. Inside, it was dingy and not very clean. A woman sat behind a beat up wooden desk and about ten people were standing around avoiding each other's eyes. I walked up to the desk and said that I had called about groups and was told to be there at 8. She smiled and told me the group cost $8. I paid and she told me to wait with the others, that group would start in a few minutes.
I don't remember much about that group. I do remember that several people were "confronted"; attacked and challenged to change destructive behaviors. It was uncomfortable for me to be there. At the end everyone joined in a group hug and all seemed to be much happier and closer than when the group started. I was confused. It seemed that something good had taken place and that people benefited. Maybe after a few more groups I would feel like an accepted member.
Looking back at this all these years later, I can still see the listing for Anthos in the back of that book. I can remember sitting in that first group, but I can't remember what was said or who was there.
The next week fate's dice rolled once again and two life-changing events occurred. Of course I had no idea at the time that something momentous was about to happen. Who does? Irv met me at work on Wednesday night and told me that something wonderful had happened to him. He started telling me about these amazing groups he had found and how they were changing his life. He was all smiles and very excited. I told him that I had just gone to my first Anthos group and while not as excited as he, I did like the experience. Irv insisted that this group he found was wonderful and I just had to go. I agreed and he told me his group was on the next Tuesday night. I agreed to join him.