Sometimes Fate is on your side
That same day, one of the writers at CBS news asked me to do him a favor. His wife had been nagging him for months to fix me up with a woman who was a member of her book club. Norm (that's the writer) had the normal male aversion to fix-ups. His wife was relentless. Finally he came to me and asked if I would go on a date with his wife's friend, "Just one" to get her off his back. I agreed to call her. That night I called and arranged a date for the first Saturday night I had free, which was two weeks away.
Here I was, set to attend a group with Irv in 6 days and go on a blind date in New Jersey the next Saturday. I should mention that I had a dog, a 120 lb german shepherd named Nando. Nando was the most gentle of dogs. He looked intimidating, but if a drunk staggered down the street toward us, Nando would run behind me for protection. He figures prominently in all of this because he made it impossible for me to have an overnight date unless it was at my apartment. Most of my mother's fix-up's ended in my Village apartment, since the girls involved lived at home with their parents. I would find myself driving them back to Brooklyn at 3AM.
Tuesday night finally rolled around. I met Irv in front of 64 West 21st Street. It was a very rundown three story commercial building close to the southeast corner of Sixth Avenue. In those days, that part of Sixth Avenue was mostly industrial lofts. There were few residents and almost no after-dark foot traffic. It wasn't a very long walk from my apartment at 7th Avenue and West 10th Street.
know how important she was in changing my life.
Irv was waiting by the door. The door had an upper glass panel that was painted black. Another girl at another beat up desk greeted us when we went inside. We paid the fee and walked up to the second floor. I don't remember much about that first group session. I believe it was led by a man named Sven, a graphic designer working for an ad agency. There were about 10 people in the group. Unlike Anthos, this group had no confrontation. Instead, it was very positive and encouraging, gently prodding people to share feelings. One of the members of the group was a woman named Donna. She came to play a big part in my life.
We socialized for a while after the group. Donna made a point of talking to me and asking me about how I liked the group. She told me that she was a graphic designer and said she had been going to groups for a few months. It turned out that she did freelance work for Sven. Donna was very pretty with straight brown hair that reached the small of her back. She wore a wedding ring. That was a small disappointment.
Donna and Irv cajoled me until I was convinced to return and I became part of the Tuesday night group. The organization was called Journey Alert. Everyone in this organization had come via referrals from friends and coworkers.
Journey's origins weren't as middle class as the people I met would have suggested. Nick Vasilli, a graduate of a group called Encounter (specialized in people with drug and other serious problems) started it as a way to capitalize on what he learned. Mixed in with us were some people with serious problems. We had a wonderful guy who kept getting arrested for flashing women on the street and in the subway. We had a couple of drug users and ex cons. No one was violent and while the groups didn't cure everyone, they certainly didn't hurt anyone either.
As the Saturday of my blind date approached, it looked like fate would intervene once more and prevent me from keeping my date in New Jersey. If you are wondering why I keep mentioning New Jersey, it's because to a New Yorker, going to New Jersey is like going to West Verginia.
The day after that first group, Wednesday, parking garage attendants in New York City went on strike closing the garage where I kept my car. My car was a hostage to this labor action. My date lived in East Orange New Jersey, way out of subway range. I figured I would have to postpone until the garage strike ended. Irv offered to lend me his car, which was available since he parked on the street. Irv liked to save money where he could, so on the Upper West Side where alternate side parking is allowed, and parking place hunting a fine art, Irv managed to save the cost of monthly parking, and by doing so, my blind date.